Pre-Suicidal

How can you tie on those cement blocks
But be afraid to cut the skin,
You can hold the razor
But you'll never jump the bridge,
You say you can't stop crying
But that's just no excuse,
You're just too afraid of dying
To ever pull the noose.



7/3/09
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

Hopeless Fantasies

I have dreams about him every night,
But dreams can't replace reality,
My heart can't help but wish for him
And that wish will be the death of me,
Unveil the shimmery cover
That hides our world of hate,
And you will see that sometimes love
Just isn't worth the wait.



7/3/09
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

B.P. <3 (I'm Sorry I Still Love You)

Rain drops fall
Down on my head,
They match the tears
On my cheeks,
If only I
Could bring you back,
Oh what I'd give
To hear you speak,
I never had the courage
To tell you how I felt,
And I never had the strength
To rely on someone else,
I tried to make it obvious
But it's a game I just can't win,
I always thought you'd wait for me
Even when I was with him,
You're the confession
I could never make,
And I'm finally ready
When it's too late.


3/30/09
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

Going, Going, Gone

I’m moving away,
Gonna start a new life.
Say good-bye to my friends,
It just doesn’t feel right.
I’ll be the new girl
Just like before
And I’ll feel so alone
Down to my heart’s core.
But don’t think it’s over ‘cause I’ll make new friends,
Just so that I
Can say Good-Bye again.



11/9/08
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

When Pain Feels Like Love

They say you’re killing me,
I say you’re protecting me,
They say it’s pain,
I call it love,
If pain can feel this good,
Death must be a miracle.



12/7/08
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

Smiling Through The Tears

It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do,
The saddest thing you’ll ever see,
You won’t believe what you’ve become,
The hardenned person that you’ll be.
But I am not that angry person,
I embrace my hopes and fears,
And that’s why you will always see me
Smiling through the tears.



11/9/08
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow

You told me it would be okay,
And I believed you, my mistake.
I had to choose you or my life,
Then through my heart you plunged the knife
Of sorrow, hatred, and despair.
You ran your hand throughout my hair
Repeating that life wasn’t fair.
You looked into my eyes and then
Promised me it would be okay again.
Once again I saw truth in your lie,
Innocent, vulnerable, and blind was I.
You took for granted what you couldn’t keep,
While I dreamed about you in my sleep.
The dreams turned to nightmares,
I saw right through you.
I saw that you never cared
About me at all.
Yet somehow I still want you,
Somehow I still need you,
Somehow I miss you hopelessly,
Somehow I still love you,

Even though it’s killing me.



11/9/08
(c) 2009 Allison A.J. Carrow